One of the most grueling battles in life is the internal struggle for emotional and mental stability. For many, this journey begins at a young age and takes immense grit and perseverance. Such is the story of Bernard Owens, a mental health clinician, motivational speaker, and author, whose relentless pursuit of mental health and emotional maturity is both inspiring and enlightening. With a decade of experience in mental health coaching and wellness support, Bernard's journey from self-doubt and suicidal thoughts to becoming a guiding light for others is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit.
Growing up as an empath and intuitive in a family that also experienced these heightened sensitivities, primarily from his mother’s side, Bernard’s childhood was anything but ordinary. This emotional awareness came at a cost. From a young age, he grappled with deep-seated mental anguish, leading to his first suicide attempt at the tender age of eleven. "I remember being overwhelmed with feelings I couldn't quite understand or manage," Bernard reflects solemnly. "At eleven, I felt emotions with an intensity that was beyond my capacity to handle. The weight of these feelings seemed unbearable."
These early experiences set the stage for a lifetime quest for self-understanding and the development of resiliency tools. Bernard candidly shares how the struggles of his younger years allowed him to eventually find strength in his vulnerabilities. “Traits like depression can indeed be passed down through DNA. My family's history very much influenced my childhood depression,” he elaborates. "These realizations came later in life, but they were crucial in understanding and addressing my mental health."
Bernard’s journey didn’t get easier as he transitioned into adulthood. The challenges persisted, and another suicide attempt at the age of twenty-one marked a critical turning point in his life. This harrowing experience emphasized the urgent need for mental health therapy, particularly for those in the mental health field.
“I think that therapists need therapists,” Bernard states firmly. “Dealing with the emotional baggage of others on top of your own can be overwhelming. After my second suicide attempt, I knew that if I wanted to help others, I first needed to heal myself.”
Therapy played an essential role in Bernard’s recovery and growth. Through the therapeutic process, Bernard learned to navigate his own pain and, importantly, transform it into a powerful tool for helping others.
"My past wasn't idyllic. In fact, it's akin to a book filled with 110 pages of mistakes," he admits with a reflective smile. "However, these experiences were instrumental in shaping my approach to life and relationships today.”
A significant part of Bernard's journey involved rebuilding relationships, particularly with his father. Open discussions and an approach grounded in love and respect helped them forge a better bond.
“Reconnecting with my father wasn’t easy,” Bernard recalls. “But I knew that to move forward, I needed to address the old wounds. It was through open conversations, and most importantly, approaching him with love and respect, that we were able to repair our relationship.”
This philosophy also extends to parenting—a subject Bernard speaks passionately about. He emphasizes the critical importance of emotional and mental maturity in effectively raising a child. "Being a parent at different life stages requires a different set of mental and emotional tools," Bernard elaborates. “It’s not just about providing materially; it’s about being emotionally available and stable for your child. Raising my son has taught me the essence of patience, understanding, and unwavering support.”
In an emotional discussion Bernard delves into the often-overlooked topic of absentee fathers and the emotional toll it takes on men. This issue is compounded by the societal stigma surrounding mental health, particularly for men in the Black community. "There is so much unspoken pain among men, especially Black men," Bernard asserts. "We are often taught to 'man up' without any guidance on managing these emotional challenges. It's a silent struggle many endure."
Bernard’s TEDx talk aims to bring these issues to the forefront. He plans to address personal accountability and the necessity of letting go of childhood grievances to take responsibility as adults. “I want to emphasize that our parents are human too,” he explains earnestly. “They made mistakes, just like we do. It’s important to recognize this and move toward forgiveness, for our own peace and growth.” Bernard’s advocacy doesn't stop there. He is also in the process of writing a second book, which will focus on the unique challenges faced by Black men in the professional world, including racial microaggressions and societal expectations.
Bernard shares his experience of dealing with loss. His first book was inspired by his transformational relationship with his mother leading up to her passing. He emphasizes the power of forgiveness and inner work in finding peace.
“Losing my mother was incredibly tough,” Bernard recounts, his voice tinged with emotion. “But it was through working on myself and our relationship that I found some semblance of healing. She forgave me for so much, and in doing so, taught me the importance of forgiving myself.”
Bernard’s narrative doesn't shy away from vulnerability. He recalls the transformative impact of his HIV diagnosis, which served as a catalyst for greater self-awareness and a drive to help others by sharing his story.
Throughout the discussion, we touch on the stigma and lack of support surrounding suicide in the Black community. Bernard acknowledges the challenges of being labeled as seeking attention and the long-term impact of such dismissiveness. "Seeking help is not a sign of weakness," Bernard stresses. “It’s a courageous act of acknowledging that you need support. The stigma surrounding mental health and suicide in the Black community needs to be dismantled.”
He continues to emphasize the importance of self-care, drawing an analogy that has resonated deeply with many—putting on your own mask first before helping others. Bernard sheds light on the harm of giving to others while neglecting personal care. “True friendships allow for vulnerability,” he observes. “It is within these spaces that we find genuine care and support, contrasting sharply with the superficial nature of casual inquiries about well-being.”
Bernard Owens’ journey is a testament to the enduring nature of the human spirit. From the depths of despair to his continued efforts to help others, Bernard has shown that it’s not about what happens to you, but how you respond to it. As he gears up for his TEDx talk, podcast plans, and public speaking tours, it’s clear that his story is far from over.
He reflects on his journey with a sense of achievement, yet remains humble. "The mistakes of my past are numerous, but they are what led me to where I am today," he says with a reflective smile. "I am continuously learning, growing, and striving to be better—not just for myself, but for those I aim to help and inspire."
Bernard concludes with a powerful reminder of the importance of community and support systems. “None of this would be possible without the support of genuine friends and family. They have seen me at my worst and continue to stand by me. This journey is as much about them as it is about me.”
Bernard Owens’ story is a beacon of hope and a profound example of resilience. His commitment to opening conversations about mental health, particularly in marginalized communities, and his dedication to personal growth is inspiring. Through his candid reflections and visionary pursuits, Bernard illustrates the transformative power of self-awareness, empathy, and unwavering determination to thrive despite life’s hardships.
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